Father Frau
by JP26
Summary: I mean the title literally...I've always wanted to make fun of Frau so I tried it on this fanfic. One shot. Enjoy.


**Note: This story sprung up when I was dreaming of Frau and wondered what if he has a doppelganger and somehow managed to screw up Frau's life for even a day. I have to tweak some things from the original setting though, so...enjoy n_n**

~~oo~~

Frau was in the library, looking up at some books. What kind of books he's looking through, it could be for the first time that he's not looking up at porn. He's looking up on the mystery of dopplegangers. For some reasons, he cannot fathom why the Church concerns themselves with fairy tale doppelgangers. But then again, the Seven Ghosts were just fairy tale to them too.

As he flipped through the book, Labrador came up to him, with the silver rose in his hand.

"Surely you're not reading THAT kind of book?" Labrador said in his calm voice, making Frau close the book with a snap. Frau looked at him, his heart beating fast.

"Don't scare me like that, Labrador." he said. "Don't appear out of nowhere like that doll maniac--"

THWACK!

"I'm sorry for hitting you so hard, Frau." Castor said with an eerie smile. "There was a mosquito on your neck so..."

Frau went hiding behind Labrador. "What is it that you want with me?"

"There is a woman outside who needs our help." Castor said. "And it seems we have no time to dawdle around."

Frau sighed. "Very well...it's really hard to be this popular...women around the globe want to see me..."

"He's talking to himself again." Labrador said to Castor as they walked out of the library.

"Let him be, it's his favorite past time." Castor replied.

~~oo~~

"Please Bishops, help my mistress!" the old nurse pleaded.

"Where is your mistress?" Castor said calmly. "We'll see what we can do..."

"She's...she's back at the manor...with her child..." the nurse said. "Please Bishops, come back with me to the manor...please help her..."

Labrador and Castor looked at each other and nodded. Frau, however, wasn't cheerful. Going to some woman's house to heal her isn't to his liking, even though he likes women.

~~oo~~

"Mistress, I've come back." the nurse said, knocking on the door and opening it. "I've brought you some visitors."

Castor, Labrador, and Frau entered the room, with Teito tagging along. Frau insisted to bring Teito along for some reason or another. They looked at the four poster bed and saw a young woman with a daze look on her face, her chest branded by the seal of Kor. Beside her, a young boy of two years of age sleeps.

"We'll take care of everything from here." Labrador said kindly to the nurse, who nodded and left the room, closing the door lightly. The four of them approached the bed. And for some reason, Frau was sitting already on the other side of the bed, leaning towards the young woman.

"What do you you're doing, you perverted Bishop!" Teito said.

"Be quiet, you little brat." Frau said, placing a hand on the young woman's cheek. "I'm only checking."

"Checking?" Teito said. Somewhere from the background, Teito heard Castor mutter, "What a lame excuse..."

"Whether if it's already the first or the second stage of contamination." Frau said.

"Well?" Castor said. "From what I am seeing, it seems like it's not been too long ago that she had entered the contract with a Kor."

"It would seem like it." Labrador said, putting a bunch of roses on a nearby vase. Where those roses came from, Teito couldn't answer.

"No," Frau said. "It's already reaching the third stage. Surprising really, to have it spread this fast..."

Castor, Labrador and Teito looked at him sharply.

"It's a surprise that she could even handle it like this." Frau said. "Taking the Kor out of her body will be a pain."

"Shall we start then?" Castor said. Frau nodded.

"Hey brat," Frau said, looking at Teito. "Can you get her child for the meantime? It could be messy and we don't want him to be traumatized."

Teito blinked before doing what Frau said.

"Well then, here we go."

As they proceeded on exorcising the Kor, Teito wondered what would be the young woman's wish that she even considered going into a contract with a Kor. The little boy in his arms stirred, opened his eyes and looked at the Bishops.

"Papa..." he said, half asleep as he reached out to the figure of Frau. Teito wondered if Frau hasn't been a bishop, surely he'd have a child like this and a beautiful wife. But, considering Frau's behavior, he doubted it.

Finally, when they had the Kor out of the woman's body, Teito returned the boy beside his mother.

"That should take care of things around here." Castor said. "Let's go back to the Church."

The nurse came back to get them, and the four of them left. Teito looked back at the little boy who snuggled up to his mother.

"Excuse me," Teito said to the nurse. "Is her husband not around?"

The nurse looked down. "The Master disappeared a year ago. The Mistress was devastated when she learned that her husband had gone missing."

"Disappeared?" Castor said.

"Yes." the nurse said. "We believe him to be dead now. The reason the Mistress would enter a contract with a Kor could be the reason that she wanted to see him again." She pointed towards the large painting portrait hanging by the main hall. The four of them looked up and saw the man the nurse is calling "Master". They saw it was Frau.

"What is the meaning of this, Frau?" Castor said quietly.

"Don't ask me." Frau said, equally bewildered. "I want to know why too..."

"You...haven't left the Church last year didn't you?" Labrador said.

"Not you too!" Frau said. "I lived in the church for as long as Archbishop Bastien knows me."

"I remember..." Teito said. "Her kid earlier called you 'Papa'."

"Oh shut up, you little brat." Frau hissed, grabbing Teito by the collar and left. Upstairs, in the mistress's room, the little boy smiled in his sleep while his mother looked at him fondly.

"You have seen your papa?" she whispered. At this point, somewhere out there, Frau sneezed.

"You got cold?" Labrador said.


End file.
